Sunday, December 31,
I don't know why, but I'm feeling OK.
I was even singing in the car the other day. And when I stopped at a
light, I kept on singing, though it was through my teeth.
It's cold and gray outside this morning but my kitchen is warm. I put a
piece of cardboard where there's a hole in the window. It works great.
I've been cleaning. My fingers smell like Comet.
I found a can of Carnation Evaporated Milk in the cupboard and put some
in my coffee.
Some people plan their meals. They make a list, go to the store, buy
the food and fix it. But it's hard for me to buy food when I'm not
What I do is buy canned food when I'm at the store, forget about it,
and then I find it.
Sometimes I buy cans of stuff I don't like. If I like it, I'll just eat
it right away and then it will be gone. Like Bean Soup. So I buy stuff
like Celery and Cheese Soup. And that way, I always have food in the
I remember one cold and rainy night I stared down a can of oysters.
Hunger made me brave, I opened it, and it turned out really good.
So, anyway, though it really doesn't taste very good, there's something
about canned milk I like. And this morning, I had some.
Monday, December 25,
On Christmas morning, believe it or not, every
single station used to
play nothing but Christmas music. If you got a radio for Christmas and
you wanted to hear how other music sounded, you had to wait a day.
This morning, there are a lot of stations playing James Brown. He died,
of course, so I guess it's OK.
A news reporter said that Sex Machine was a big hit of his. The
reporter went on to say that the song was
Sunday, December 24,
Annie called again.
It was a long, rambling monologue and her cell phone was dying so she
called me back several times. She didn't ask, Where was I?,
when she started up again because it didn't matter.
I felt bad I didn't feel about her the way I used to. Bad, but also not
Before either of us could say Merry Christmas, her phone died for the
I checked the front door and turned off all the lights in the house and
went to the back bedroom.
The only light in the house is coming from my laptop which is on my
stomac right now.
And everything is quiet.
Saturday, December 23,
The house feels emptier without my dog, especially at night.
Last night I called The Switchboard.
But I got the number for when you need help with your turkey.
The woman gave me a scolding. Which was exactly what I didn't want.
It was like the suana where you jump into a pool of ice cold water.
Except I fell in by mistake.
Friday, December 22,
Ted came by today but
I've got this system. When I hear a knock, I get on my knees and look
through the keyhole of the hallway door. This way I can pretend I'm not
home. The hallway door has to be closed for this to work and this
morning it was.
He left a present on my porch that was expertly wrapped.
I didn't wrap any presents this year but when I do, I wrap them just a
little bit sloppy so nobody gets the wrong idea.
Thursday, December 21,
Dale said I might have to work on Christmas Eve.
I have senority but I don't have a family.
Annie called. It's been so long that I didn't recogize her voice. She
said to meet her at the park.
Her hair was different. She looked thin. I hope she's not using again.
She was delivering baskets of cookies that she baked for Christmas. She
said she does this every year.
I didn't know.
She said she had a basket left over and thought I might want it.
I saw that there were some of Rice Krispee Treats so I took it but I
left before she could ask me for money.
Tuesday, December 19,
I woke up this morning and I didn't feel
Maybe I have the winter blues.
So I took the lampshade off my lamp and stared into the 100 watt bulb.
I remember a movie where they said, "Come into the light, come into the
But I don't remember if that was a bad thing or a good thing.
So, I stopped.
Tuesday, December 12,
Gus came by again last night and this
time we watched TV. There was a rerun of Law and Order. After the news
came Leno and after that, he still didn't go home.
We talked on and off about his plan to get a mail order bride.
I asked him what would happen if he marries her but then finds out he
really doesn't love her.
He thought about that for a while and then he asked me if I remember
that scene from Deliverance where that guy says to that guy to squeal
like a pig.
I said yes.
And Gus said when he thinks about real love, he remembers that scene,
because that's as real as love gets.
Gus smiled. Then he said good night and then he got up and left.
And I was thinking he might be right.
I could never figure out why that guy wanted him to squeal like a pig.
Monday, December 11,
I got a Christmas card from Ted. He's the psychologist I used to know.
He said that in 2007 that he hopes that we
can be friends. That being friends was good enough for him.
He said he tried my number and that it was
disconnected and he asked me for my new number.
Sunday, December 10,
Gus came by after dinner with a thermos of egg nog and we got to
He sent out 25 letters but he didn't include his photograph. He didn't
want his looks to be a selling point.
He gave me a copy of his letter and wanted to know how I would respond.
I tried to imagine I was a young, Filipino woman and that I didn't know
His letter was pretty bad but I didn't say anything. So I thought about
how poor I was and how I didn't want to be poor any more. I was
thinking hunger and ring worm and no modern conveniences. But I still
thought the letter was dumb.
Gus prodded me. He wanted an answer.
So I looked up and said, "Me no speak English."
Saturday, December 9,
Fontaine and Gus came over and Gus was carrying a copy of Cherry
Blossom Magazine. That's a catalog of Filipino women who want to marry
What you do is pay for the mailing address of any woman you want to
write to. And then if she writes back, you can write her again
and see what develops.
One address costs $5.00. Ten addresses cost $10.00. A hundred addresses
Fontaine thinks it's a great idea. He said American women don't know
how to treat American men. As for a Filipino woman, the only thing she
wants to do in life is please her man. It's her reason for living.
Gus showed me the picture of a woman he's going to write to. She's in
her 20's and she's looking for a mature man. Browsing through the ads,
it looks like Gus is in luck. Mature is a plus for all of them.
Friday, December 8,
There was a guy at the Farmer's Market
selling bread and he seemed angry.
He didn't look like a baker. He looked like he worked in a tire repair
All of the bread was wrapped in plastic just
like in a regular store
and nobody was coming up to his table.
He called out "Fresh bread!" like there was something wrong with us for
not buying any.
So I went up to the table and I bought a loaf.
And after I bought the loaf, he was still angry.
And when I got home, I tried the bread, and it wasn't very good.
A lot of times, things aren't what they seem. But this time, it was
Thursday, December 7,
2006 -- Pearl Harbor Day
Fontaine came over and he was looking
down. I asked him why and he
showed me his hand.
"How would you feel with something like this?"
He opened up his hand and his palm looked like it had been slashed with
a steak knife.
I asked him shouldn't he put something on it.
And he said that everything he puts on it hurts.
I told him that it was too bad. That it was a heck of a way to end 2006.
But nothing I said made him feel better.
Wednesday, December 6,
The sun was out. Not a cloud in the sky. But it was
Mr. Frankfurter heard that I didn't have any heat so he came by to ask
if there was anything he could do.
I told him there was something in the basement. And he said, "Let's
take a look."
I showed him where the door was and he pulled out a flashlight from his
He tapped the flashlight on the door and said, "Are you still in there?"
There was a long silence. I asked him if he heard anything and he said
yes, he did.
Then Mr. Frankfurter said, "It's time for you to be gone. We've come to
light the furnace. Be gone!"
Then Mr. Frankfurter turned to me and smiled and he said, "It's OK now."
And it was.
Tuesday, December 5,
I heard noises in the night.
And later, I had a bad dream.
I don't remember what it was about. None of my dreams make a lot of
Monday, December 4,
I went to the basement door and knocked
on it but I didn't hear anything. I called out, Are you still in there?
Whatever it was, it didn't answer.
Sunday, December 3,
I called PG&E to see if they'd light
my furnance. They said they would but for a charge. I said OK.
But when the guy got here I confessed there might be something in the
He said he could only do his job if he had unobstructed access. He was
nice about it. But he didn't want to come across a rabid possum.
And he left.
Saturday, December 2,
It's cold. I don't have any heat.
I can't light my furnace because there's a monster in the basement.
Friday, December 1,
Fontaine thinks it's a dog. Gus thinks
it's a racoon in heat. I was thinking it was more like something like a
They both came over but they didn't hear anything. No scratching, no
growling. But neither of them wanted to open the door.
November 30, 2006
I had a scare.
I went down into the basement to light the furnace and I heard a noise.
Kind of like a mean growl.
I got out of there quick and locked the door.
I heard it growl some more and then it started scratching the door.
Shoot, I don't know what it is.
How am I going to light the furnace?
November 29, 2006
My head. My eyes. What's next?
I told Gus and Fontaine about the motel clerk and Fontaine said it was
just a pick up line.
Then I told them about the Rosecrucian and Fontaine said it was just a
pick up line.
Gus said I had "latent" written all over me.
November 28, 2006
Gus gave me a free pass to the Rosecrucian Museum and he said go, I
might learn something.
One of the things I learned was that they made mummies of their cats
and they had a couple of real live ones there. I mean, dead ones, of
course, but real ones.
Around back I found a little garden behind some papayrus plants. I went
inside and sat on a bench. There was a candle on the ground in front of
After a few minutes a man wearing a blazer came in and asked me if I
was a member of the order.
I wasn't sure I understood the question.
But he said of course, he could see it in my eyes.
He gave me a big smile and talked about how he could always tell by the
But I shook his hand wrong.
Another thing I learned today is that a free pass does not get you into
And still another thing I learned is that if you make a Rosecrucian
mad, it's even worse because they're a little creepy to begin with, and
that's a bad combination, anger and creepiness.
November 27, 2006
Gus and his Rosecrucian pamplets. Sometimes he won't let you look over
his shoulder when he's reading like it's a big secret. I asked him
about that and he said that some people aren't ready for the answers to
certain important questions. I asked him, like what?
He said I wasn't ready for that either.
November 26, 2006
I guess Mr. Frankfurter went to church. I'm still
Around this time when it starts to get cold, my dog used to sleep in my
One time, I remember, I pulled the covers over my head and propped them
up with a broken yardstick.
I poked my head out and said, "Let's play tent."
He gave me a look that said, "You play tent."
So I did.
And he fell asleep next to the space heater.
November 25, 2006
She thought Gus knew she followed the circuit.
So she's in Tucson now and Gus is back reading his Rosecrucian
November 24, 2006
Fontaine just called. He wanted to know
if my cable is out. It is. He
said a bad word and hung up.
OK. Last night. I had Armour
Canned Meat, boiled carrots, mashed potatoes, a Mexican bread
roll, tomato soup, meatless chili, a mix of sea shell and elbow
macaroni with a lentil soup gravy, egg nog (without vanilla, I didn't
have any), green tea, canned pears and a cut up apple.
I made too much food on purpose. There's something nice about left
November 23, 2006
I got up early and waited for 10 AM because that's the earliest that
Motel 8 will let you check in. I left a note on the kitchen table and
got there around 10:15 and rang the bell.
The motel clerk was a dark skinned immigrant with black, black hair and
a mustache. I think he was from some place like Afganistan.
He was nice. I remember talking to him on the phone when I made the
reservation. He took my VISA card and then my driver's license and I
signed a computer print out. But the whole time he was nervous, not me.
He started sentences that he didn't finish and then he looked away. And
then back at me again.
He asked some real simple questions like "Who are you?" and I gave him
simple answers, like my name.
Then he explained. He could see a light that glowed around my head
and he'd never seen anything like it. He knew I was a very good
I said thank you and took the key and went up to room
208 and stretched out on top of the bedspread of one of the two king
I closed my eyes and wondered about my hair. If some whispy
strands had been sticking out and catching the morning light from the
behind me. I don't often comb it.
I slept for an hour. Then I got up and left and went back to my house
and found my kitchen surprizingly neat and clean.
I tossed the note and I set the table for dinner. Fork, spoon, knife,
I still don't know what I'm going to fix.
I'll tell you tomorrow.
He always wanted to run away. His dream never came
But in a way, I guess it did.
Tuesday, November 21,
I've been cleaning house now for several days. Putting things together.
Putting things away. Throwing some things away. Getting ready for
Monday, November 20,
My dog and I weren't close. There's an empty feeling that I don't feel
worse than I do.
I put the dog dish in the recycling bin and put the remainder of dry
dog food in the compost pile. And I covered it with all the leaves in
Sunday, November 19,
I used to have a job picking up dead animals but they were
practically frozen. And they were inside thick plastic bags. And
I didn't know them.
Saturday, November 18,
It was sad but he got stiff and then it didn't seem like it was him
anymore. Just a stiff thing.
Friday, November 17,
I buried my dog in the backyard.
The ground was cold and it was hard.
Somehow that made me feel less sad.
Because digging the hole was a pain.
Thursday, November 16,
I used to give my dog the parts of the turkey I never ate.
I boiled them and put them in his dish. In a day or two they'd be gone.
November 15, 2006
My dog died.
I don't understand it. He was the exact same age as me in dog years.
I feel like telling somebody but I don't want it to get back to
This is not a good time.
But maybe it is. If it had to happen.
I'm going away on Thanksgiving.
November 14, 2006
Debbie's birthday is tomorrow. Gus
asked her what
she wants and she said one of those clear plastic toilet seats that
have real money inside of them.
Gus asked her why and she said because that's what she thinks about
I asked him if he's going to get it for her and he said no.
It's way too expensive.
Monday, November 13, 2006
I got my flu shot today and I think it reacted with
my medication. Plus
the fact I had something to drink.
Maybe that's why I called Annie and asked her what I did.
She said I'd be lucky if she ever talked to me again, ever.
I took that as a no.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
I got up to go to the bathroom and I
looked in the
mirror and I didn't
Sounds like it would be funny but it wasn't.
Maybe that's a side effect. Or maybe the ones he gave me aren't strong
November 11, 2006
Richard Luna transfered to my
class during the 6th grade. He had acne and he was always smiling and
his black hair was shiney because he put stuff on it.
His pants were slacks, the kind you wear to church. He wore a big belt
buckle and his shirt was unbuttoned halfway down.
His older brother told him if anybody ever called him "Richard Lunatic"
I asked him what a lunatic was and he cringed. And he said I better
November 10, 2006
I saw the doctor and he gave me some pills.
We didn't talk much.
I guess what I have is common.
November 9, 2006
I woke up last night at 3:25 AM.
And I had a strange feeling. The house was quiet. Everything was dark.
And there I was.
I went to the kitchen and ate some potato chips.
I wasn't hungry.
November 8, 2006
I met Debbie.
She was bubbly.
She talked like Shakespeare and it made Gus laugh.
I didn't understand what she was saying and that made Gus laugh, too.
I'm glad that Gus is no longer depressed.
November 7, 2006
Gus came over again. He just sat at
the kitchen table and said love was
good. But being older, now, it was different.
For example, he lasts longer. Which is good. His wife used to complain.
But sometimes he feels a nose hair sticking out when he kisses her and
tickles and it's annoying. And it makes him feel old.
She hasn't said anything about it. Maybe she doesn't feel it. Or
maybe she's just too nice to say anything. Unlike his wife.
Then he asked if he could see my pliers
November 6, 2006
Gus came over, had some coffee, and
helped himself to some toast with butter.
And he told me more about Debbie.
He's upset that Fontaine called her fat. He asked me if I thought she
was fat. I got up to put more bread in the toaster.
Gus said the strange thing was, he fell in love with her when she had
the costume on, and after that, it didn't matter.
I asked her what her last name was. He said Roach. Debbie Roach.
And then the toast was ready.
November 5, 2006
Fontaine called up and asked me if I
saw her and then he started laughing again. Making those noises.
I waited until he calmed down but he didn't.
Love is hard, I guess. And maybe love is supposed to be blind
sometimes. I don't have the answers.
I didn't even know I was a leg man.
Saturday, November 4, 2006
Gus came over again. This time he had
Yes, they’re quite large. But she’s large all over.
I looked at him to see if it was a joke.
It wasn’t. He was smiling. And waiting for me to say something.
So I said, “Nice.”
And then I said, “Very nice.”
Friday, November 3, 2006
Gus came over. He’s very happy which
is really good.
He moved his hands in that way again and said what her size was
according to conservative estimates.
But I didn't look impressed enough.
So he said I must be a leg man.
Thursday, November 2, 2006
Fontaine called me up and he was
Some people have the kind of laugh where you start laughing along with
them even though you don't know what you're both laughing about. But
Fontaine didn't have that kind of laugh.
He laughs like he's choking while he's trying to sing.
He laughs like a cornered animal but
instead of snarling or hissing, he has a mental
You don't laugh along with Fontaine. You think up ways you'd describe
it and then you wait until he's done.
Wednesday, November 1, 2006
The news of the day is that Gus
finally now has a girlfriend and he's very happy.
Her name is Debbie and she works at The Renaissance Faire in an unpaid
position as a saucy wench.
And the best part about her is something he described with his hands.
October 31, 2006
The thousand injuries of Fontaine I
had borne the best I could, but
when he ventured upon insult I thought, OK, I wish he wouldn’t do that.
A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes the redresser. But
with my luck, that’s exactly what would happen.
My coat of arms has a motto which I thought meant “I’m a snake that
bites with impunity,” but I looked it up and it turns out to be Latin
for, “At length, I’ll get over it.”
October 21, 2006
I remember in high school that Gus got all mad about those bumper
stickers that said, "America--Love it or leave it!"
So he used his savings and had some bumper stickers printed up that
said, "America--Love it or change it!"
He didn't sell enough to break even.
And then came along the one that said, "When guns are outlawed, only
outlaws will have guns."
That made me him even more mad.
It was too true.
October 20, 2006
When Jesus transfered into my 3rd grade class we didn't know if he
could speak English.
But with a name like that, I wouldn't say a word, either.
October 19, 2006
Gus was drinking coffee from a Pyrex measuring cup.
He was telling me about his friend Eric. Eric went to Hawaii and he
hated it. When he got back, that’s all he said about it. How much he
didn’t like it. Everything had gone wrong and there wasn’t a single
thing he liked about it. And he spent a lot of money on his trip, too.
But two years have passed and now he talks about Hawaii like it was all
Gus said that’s why he’s depressed. And why he thinks he'll always be
October 18, 2006
Ken was a transfer student from Idaho. The teacher appointed me his
"Welcome Buddy" so I showed him where the bathrooms were during lunch.
This was in the fifth grade. My state report was on Idaho so I asked
him about potatoes.
He didn't answer.
And we didn't become friends.
October 16, 2006
I was over at Gus’s house.
There was toilet paper on the floor all shredded up.
His dog had gotten into the wastepaper basket and that’s what he went
Gus didn’t want me to see it.
October 15, 2006
Ralph transfered to my class in the 4th
grade. He had big, floppy lips like Captain Bly and he looked like a
When I asked him what he got for Christmas, he said clothes.
Just clothes. And it made me feel really sad.
told me about a couple of old movies he saw last night.
Marty and Scarlet Street.
Joan Bennet laughs at Edward G. Robinson and says he has a face like a
That must have hurt.
But then he kills her.
September 16, 2006
It was "Pirate Night"
Arms. You get in free if you talk like a pirate.
I couldn't do it.
Friday, August 18, 2006
I got a call from the
AP, a Mr. Wilsey from The New Yorker and an assitant producer from
Nightline. They all want to know more about that creepy guy.
All I said was that he stayed here for a few weeks and he got some
mail. Brochures from Pattaya and postcards from his dad. One time I
gave him a postcard, he read it, and he tore it up. He didn't say why.
I don't think they're going to put me on Nightline.
It'd be cool, though.
Fontaine thinks I'm making the whole thing up.
August 17, 2006
I saw that guy on TV, John Mark Karr, and I know him. He used to stay
in the hotel. So now I've been watching a lot of TV just to see him
because I know him.
I watch the same clips over and over. He used to walk around the hotel
lobby. Same face, same voice, but now he's on TV.
It's weird. He's weird.
But he didn't do it.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
You know how you can
get a tune in your head and it just keeps playing over and over and it
drives you crazy because you can't get it out of your head?
Well, I don't have that problem, but Fontaine does, and now he's
blaming me for Dem Golden Slippers.
It's kind of funny.
I mean, it serves him right.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Fontaine called again.
All I need to do is go to Walgreens and buy some hydrogen peroxide,
fingernail polish remover and a driveway stain remover that has
acetone. And some coffee filters.
Fontaine said he'd give me the money but then I asked why I'd want to
make a bomb and he said it would be cool.
And then I didn't say anything.
And then he said we'd just make a little one.
Wednesday, July 5, 2006
I put me cell phone on
silent so when Annie doesn't call, like she never does, I won't hear
that she doesn't.
I found a magic store online
and I ordered a set of "Cups and Balls."
My Dad used to have a set he kept in a red pouch. They were copper
cups. Not the cheap ones.
That's how my mom met my dad. But that's all I know about the story.
I also ordered a magic wand that goes limp.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Fontaine called me. He's all excited that he found out how to make a
liquid bomb from the internet.
He said it's really simple. Even I could do it.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Apes have a language that they taught to Tarzan when he was a child.
They have a dictionary in the back of the unabridged edition prepared
especially for young readers.
I used to try to learn one word a day.
Tantor means elephant.
Friday, March 31, 2006
I was in the shower this morning and it happened again. I couldn't
remember which faucet was cold and which one was hot.
Usually, I don't even think about it.
But now I do and I get it wrong half the time.
February 26, 2006
didn't go to church this morning.
I don't know if he ever goes, but really nice people usually do, don't
I saw him just sitting on his steps.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
I did a computer
search on duct tape and I found a blog by a young woman named Dervala. She seemed to be a lot like me
except she's really smart and interesting. And I have a feeling she
might be tall.
I wrote her an email. And guess what? After a couple of days she wrote
me back. 11 words, but 12 if you include her name.
Maybe I'm not so dull after all.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
My neighbor, the woman who yells at
me sometimes, starting yelling at Mr. Frankfurter
for feeding stray cats.
I better give her a name in case I mention her again. How about Mrs.
OK, Mrs. Stein was yelling at him but he stayed calm. He explained that
he only feeds stray cats that he first traps and then spades or
neuters. He does it at his own expense.
He said all this with a kindly smile.
And then she didn't say anything.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
I guess the normal thing would have
been to take them down to Goodwill. Put them in bag, toss them in a
But it's done now and I don't have to think about it.
February 20, 2006
Fontaine called. His
cat has been sneezing. He asked me what I thought it was. A cold? No.
And then he called me a dope. That's more like it. Fontaine almost
Gus thought it could be distemper. Fontaine doesn't want to spend a
hundred bucks on a vet. I said it would be more than a hundred bucks. I
used to work for some clinics. He said I was just a driver.
If she doesn't stop sneezing he's going to take her up to the
I asked him about that. He said he has a thing about death.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.
I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day.
You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But now you've left me and love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Gosh, it's everywhere.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
I empty the wastepaper
baskets at night and sometimes I find some interesting things.
I found the first and probably only draft of a novel. All of the
characters were cards in a
deck. They didn't have any free will. They were just dealt and played.
There was no dialogue, just a record of what the hands were, who was
drawn, the wagers, how much was won. It didn't make a lot of sense
which is too bad
because it went on for pages and pages.
And last night I found a resume for
Felice Goldman. She was an extra in Patch Adams. I saw that movie.
I bet I saw her. She was a med student.
I looked in the register and we didn't have a Felice Goldman. Too bad.
Maybe she always checks in under a false name.
Friday, February 17, 2006
I went to the north
end of St. James Park and while nobody was looking I hung Blane's
underwear on the backs of a couple of benches.
His briefs were all the same size and all the same shade of off-white.
I spread them out end to end.
I went back to my car and looked at the benches from the street. It
looked nice. I'm glad I took my time. I'm sure they'll be gone by
February 16, 2006
Blane's underwear wasn't taking up a lot of space but it's not the kind
of thing I want around here to remind me of him.
They looked perfectly good. Cleaned and pressed.
I saw some homeless people under the overpass and I approached them but
they were in line to get free needles and condoms from a county van. I
didn't know they had the program.
One guy asked me if I was an addict. I said no. He said this line was
only for addicts.
I left before somebody asked me what I wanted.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
You know how sometimes you just have one of those feelings?
Well, I felt my cell phone vibrate, and I knew it was Annie
calling me. Even though I haven't seen or heard from her in a long time.
So I reached into my pocket but my cell phone wasn't there. I looked
around and I saw it was on my
And it wasn't on vibrate.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
I signed the notice so they just left the package on my porch.
It was from Blane's estate. Briefs. Off white but in good condition.
I don't wear briefs.
But even if I did, I've got to give these away or something.
Happy Valentine's Day.
February 13, 2006
I got a package from
UPS but I wasnt' here so they will attempt delivery tomorrow. Golly, I
didn't order anything. I wonder what it could be?
February 12, 2006
I sat and talked with my new
neighbor this afternoon. Mr. Frankfurter.
We talked for a long time.
He was nice. Everything I told him about myself he seemed interested
in. I'd say something about myself and he'd then ask a question about
I don't think we talked about him at all. He just said that people call him Frank
so that's what I'm going to do.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Mr. Henson is an old man who comes
downstairs and talks to me sometimes, usually pretty late. He paces
around a lot and then he comes over to the desk.
He was a med student at Stanford. That's when he fell in love with
Mary. He showed me a picture from his wallet but it was hard to see
because it looked like it had been torn and then taped with tape that
She married somebody else and he got so upset that he dropped out of
school and never became a doctor or anything. He blames her. And he
blames her for the fact that he's here, living in this hotel, with
nobody else to talk to except me.
How could she do that to him?
The question lingers in the
hotel lobby after everybody has gone to sleep. And just before I have
to do the sheets.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
I was curious about the Luxury Suite but my passkey doesn't open it.
So I took the room key and went upstairs to take a look.
It turns out it's just a room with a really big bed.
It takes up the whole room.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
At night, in the hotel, it gets
really quiet after 3 am.
Sometimes there's very little
to do but think. And I don't always have something to think about.
Last night I pulled out the sheets from the dryer and put them to my
face and held them there.
Friday, January 27, 2006
My night clerk shift is from
10 pm to 6 am.
One thing I do is wash the sheets.
I put them in and take them out and fold them.
The Luxury Suite has a custom made super king size bed. I can tell
because the sheets are so big.
It costs double and we only mention it when somebody asks for the best
room we've got.
But they don't know I have to lay the sheets out on the lobby floor in
order to fold them.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Fontaine talked about the hard drive
he bought and all of the music he's downloading. He says it's not
because he'll never have time to listen to it all.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Gus and I and Fontaine hopped on over to IHOP. I invited them. I said I
came into some money which is a lie but a white one.
Both of them got on my case
because I couldn't decide one what to order.
And Moses, the waiter, was unfriendlier than usual.
Gus was explaining that if
catch the devil by his toe he won't holler
because he has a cloven foot and he can't feel
it. Whereas a tiger will just rip you to shreds.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
There's a guy who walks down the street and barks like a dog. He's from
one of the board and care homes in the neighborhood.
I always say hello. He always barks.
But today he said hi. And then he asked me what home I'm from. I said I
live in this house.
He smiled. And he looked at me like he was wondering what you call that.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
I have a new neighbor. His name is
I hope my dog
doesn't eat him. Hahahahhahahahahaha!
But his name really is Mr. Frankfurter.
He's a retired Kindergarten teacher.
I don't think he's going to be a problem.
Monday, January 2, 2006
Gus just got back from a cruise. It was for singles but most of the
passengers had oxygen tanks.
The onboard entertainment was performed by the same group of singers
and dancers every night, People Are
They were in their 20's and they smiled all the time.
One of the passengers died and they had to airlift him out. That turned
out to be the most exciting part of the trip.
Everybody was on deck to see the heliocopter land. And all the
entertainers waved when it took off.
Sunday, January 1, 2006
I didn't do much on New Year's Eve. I rented Grizzly Man.
He gave names to all the bears. There was Bubbles and Mr. Chocolate.
And one of them ate him.